Worst Things To Say When First Meeting Your Cyber-lover in Real Life

Author: Posted: May 10 2003 Word Count: 882 words Read 9714 Rating:

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One day, it gets too much, and they arrange a secret rendezvous. Sometimes at a bar. More often at a seedy motel, so they can shag like rabbits and really do all those things they'd told each other.And that's where reality hits. Often, your cyber lover isn't quite as you'd expected. Don't express your disappointment, though. There's no reason to be rude. It's unlikely you told the complete truth, either, after all.This month, we look at the things you should avoid saying when first meeting your cyber lover.Nice beard. Sue. You sure type better than you look. You know, I wish life had an undo key. I thought you said your body was "average" sized. You never said "for an elephant". Great set of wheels. It's a pity about the chair. Is it OK if I use my laptop to cyber with my Russian mail-order bride while we do it? When you said you were 'fragrant', I didn't think it meant you had the worst body odour problem since mankind stopped living in swamps. Nice tits, Greg. I am a little disappointed that you brought along you husband, yes. Well, on reflection, it does make sense that your a fat, pale, pasty geek, yes. You are online 24 hours a day, every day, after all. I'm sorry I didn't mention that I've got AIDS. But hey! I'm here now, so let's shag. You're a lot balder than I imagined, Kathy. Readers HintsWhen I told you I was an life saver, I lied. I really weigh 205.HpN Oh, it is so nice to meet you this close. It is so much better then when I'm talking to you on the net, while hiding in the bushes under your window.HpN Oh, I thought your picture was upside-down.HpN No, you're not ugly...this blindfold is because of my...sensitivity to light?Ashley Peterson Oh my God, Mum. Why didn't you tell me you were unhappy with Dad.Brian Vo I'm sorry i just remembered an appointment with the barbers, they mightly slit my throat for free.N A GRANDMA?!?!?!?! WHAT THE... Will G Mary... why is there a bulge sticking from between your legs?Will G I thought you was the one on the left in the pic. NOT your left, my left.Pegasus All man part horse Can you pinch me? I think i'm having a nightmare.Stephen Carmody I've gotta be back home by 9.30, or my mom will get mad at me....Will G You just gave me an erectionWill G Richard, I know you told me you had a birthmark on your face... but you never told me it looked like a DICK!!! Lost Soul Oh, Im sorry... I thought the one in the picture was your pet chimp...Lost Soul Well, all things said, you really are an expert on how to use all the features of Photoshop for doing image touch ups.Andrew Brisbane Do you mind if we stick by our chat room names, I think I'm a lot more comfortable shagging you as 'HotMommaXXX'Andrew Brisbane What the??? Your not a MILF!Andrew Brisbane I'm really sorry but Lookin4Love2000 couldn't make it. I'm his best mate ShagAnything22 if your still up for it!Andrew Brisbane And all is time who would've thought that you were the same chick who walked past my office window each day and that we all poked fun at!Andrew Brisbane Look, I'll never say anything about this for the rest of my life, eternity and beyond if you'll do the same thing. Dad. Andrew Brisbane So that was really a photo of your next door neighbour hey? Cool...is she around?Andrew Brisbane I did bring this paper bag just in case, so here you go.Kaite Oh my god.....It's bigfoot.Kaite When you said you liked children, I didn't expect you to bring some with you? Oh, they're yours, are they?madgorgon No, I wasn't lying, I just gained 100 lbs this weekend.Kevin AciD So you’re not really an anorexic, obsessive compulsive, single, vegetarian, amputee, body building, pig shooting, orphan with red hair and narcissistic nymphomaniac tendencies looking to experiment?Matt Kemp You wanna see the pimples on my ass? I've got a huge one on my right cheek...Lost Soul All of my previous boyfriends have left me because they say I talk too much. But I think the internet is just the place for me because I type very slowly. On the other hand, I can say roughly 3 words per second. Dont you find that amazing? Everyone else tells me I talk really fast. They say Im a talking machine, as if my only purpose in life was to talk. You dont think I talk too much do you? cuz I really like you and I want to meet you again some other day. I know this place... its just about three blocks from here, and its absolutely gorgeous.......... .. . . . . . . Lost Soul I'd like to phone a friend please, Eddie.Paul Ritchie NOW I now why you don't have webcam.Paul Ritchie I'm here on behalf of my brother to tell you he couldn't make it today. He died 3 years ago.Paul Ritchie Does that thing on your face have a name?Paul Ritchie Do you mind if I kiss your dog instead?Pau

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